they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
