i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
