I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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