He had one of those small greek statue penises
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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