i don't like sucking hair
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
