explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
