His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
So much rum. So many feels.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
