as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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