he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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