she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
