so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
