is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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