Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
