Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
