Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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