So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
