Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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