My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
