I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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