Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
