I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
