Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize