Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
smell my finger.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
