Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
