Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
