I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
