for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize