And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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