My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
