walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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