her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Randomize
