We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Your cock deserves a montage
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
