Nicole vs. Life
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
