her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
