Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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