Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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