So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize