Don't you send me to vm
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
