I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
