Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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