The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
