my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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