Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
