Me too!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
