dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize