I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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