Duck Duck Cougar?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
