"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
