ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Let's paint friendship bongs
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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