Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
