We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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