I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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