I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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