I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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