So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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