well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
