And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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