you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
