We're like a lot better than the average bears
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
