So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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