Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
