He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
