I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
