i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
