Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
