"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
