This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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