I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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