please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
