Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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