You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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