I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize