we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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