And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
