I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
