Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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