I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
