Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
