But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
