dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
