woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
