you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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