She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
