a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
