i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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