North Korea, Best Korea!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
oh god was she eating orange peels again
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
