You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Randomize
