2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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