You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
